He knows. Snake knows. I don't know how, but he does. Did Sally tell him? I doubt it, but no one else knew. Maybe he figured it out on his own? No. He wouldn't have. Someone told him. I guess it doesn't really matter at this point though. Tomorrow morning they are gonna hang Johnny. And then......
There was a loud knock on the door this morning about 11. It was Snake. "Prissy!" I heard him from the back of the house. His tone was loud and harsh. It scared me. I open the door and could see instantly that he knew. His eyes were watery and red. He stared at me for a second and I could see the pain and hurt on his face. I wanted to die right there. "You should have told me Prissy." His voice cracked ever so slightly. "You should have told me!"
"Snake." I whispered. My heart was breaking as he stood there in the doorway. " I... I .... I" I didn't know what to say. He stepped pass me and into the house. "I'm sorry." I managed to get out.
"Where is he? Where's........ my son?" soft as it was, I had never heard such emotion in his voice, not even when his brother was killed.
"Snake," the tears came to my eyes.
"Goddamn it Prissy!" His voice rose. "That's why you left? You ran out in the middle of the night, with someone you didn't even know, because you were pregnant? With my son? Why? I thought you loved me? Or was it all just some kind of game to you?" He reached out and punched the door jam. I thought I heard a bone crack.
"Stop it!" I yelled. "Of course I loved you, you idiot! I always loved you! But..but..... " I just couldn't do it. I slumped to the table and cried.
He stood there, clenching his fists again and again. "I don't understand." he said quietly. "It about killed me when you left Prissy. I, I didn't know what to do, what I had done wrong. Then I learned that you left with someone, and my heart broke. ..... I thought, I thought you loved me." He sat on the other side of the table.
"Did you know you were pregnant when you left?" I could see how hard this was on him. He had never been a man who was comfortable with his own emotions. He hated showing his pain. He thought it made him weak.
"Yes Snake, I knew." the truth was hard to get out."I knew. It's why I left." He looked as if I had stabbed him in the heart. He stood and started for the door. "I was scared Snake! I was afraid you were gonna die! Your obsession with finding Holmes was blinding you to everything else, including me."
"He killed my brother Prissy."
"Damn it Snake, I know that! I was there. And you were gonna prove to yourself and to everyone else that you were the better man by bringing in Holmes. And if you got killed in the process, you didn't give a damn!"
"That's bullshit Prissy!"
"Is it? Look at the truth goddamn it! You were putting yourself at risk day after day! How many times were you shot while we were in Wichita Snake? You were gonna get your man no matter what! I was not gonna raise a baby by myself. I couldn't. So yes, I went looking for someone to take me away from you. Someone I thought was safe and would be there to be a father to my child! I chose Johnny because I didn't trust you to be around for long! I'm sorry Snake. I was weak."
He stood there in silence for several minutes. "Damn it Snake, say something." I pleaded.
"You should have told me." His voice was low and soft. "You should have made me see the truth. You were always more important to me than anything Prissy. I would have changed for you if you gave me a chance."
I smiled "No you wouldn't have. You would have tried, I know. But you can't change what you are anymore than the Sun can. I loved you with everything I had Snake. You know I did. Damn it, I still love you. It broke my heart to leave, but I had to think about the future of my baby. Of our baby. I knew that he needed a father. One that I knew would always be there. I am sorry."
"What happens after tomorrow?" he asked.
"I'll have to bury my husband." The tears returned. "Then,..... I don't know.
He grabbed me and pulled me into his chest. I didn't resist at all. "Sweet sweet girl." he whispered "It's alright. I understand why you did what you did. I don't blame you."
"No." I cried. "Don't you do that! Don't you dare forgive me Snake Johnson! I won't let you!"
"Hush now," he said as he stroked my hair."I know how hard this has all been on you. I know you're scared. Scared of being alone. Hell girl, you always have been. But you are alright. I am not going anywhere Prissy. When this is all over, I'm gonna be here. Maybe we can...... "
"Don't Snake," I said looking up at him. "don't even talk about it. Not now. Not while...."
"Alright Prissy. Not now...." He looked at me for a moment then bent his head down to kiss my cheek. I don't know why, but Lord forgive me, I moved my face and met his lips with my own.
Then we heard the gunfire from the street.
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