My dearest Prissy.
How did it come to this? My heart is in pieces, broken by shame and guilt. I can't seem to put into words how sorrowful I feel. It is hard for me to even look you in the eye Prissy. I can't say the things to you that I want to, that I need to. I don't know where I went wrong. I should have never quit the Circle M. I am just weak Prissy. I am a weak man. That's the truth of it. And now they are gonna hang me for it. I know they are. I was always lookin for the easy way for everything. And when it didn't come easy, I was never willing to work for it. I am so sorry. You put your faith in me, and I let you down. You deserve a better man than me. Joshua deserves a better father. I swear Prissy if I could change things....... but I can't. I want to blame the drink. I want to blame bad luck at the tables. I want to blame everything and everybody. But I know it's my fault. All of it. You should have never married me.....
Sometimes I think about that. I wonder why you fell for someone like me. You hardly even knew me. I was only in town for a few weeks, and when I left, I had a beautiful new wife. I don't know what you ever saw in me. But whatever it was, you were wrong. You could have done so much better than this. A drunken horse thief. I am sorry.
I brought you here. I brought this shame on you. And our son. When I am gone Prissy, please try to keep the truth of this away from him. Let him believe his daddy was a good man. Raise him right. Be proud of him, even as I know you will never be proud of me. I deserve what is coming to me. I know it. But I am afraid of it as well. I don't want to die Prissy. I, ...... I,
I love you.
Your husband,
Johnny.
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